Looking back on that time in my life, the formative years, when my personality began to change. After the school bullying was exposed and stopped, I found myself dealing with what had happened to me. I remembered keeping my head down, withdrawing inward. My eight-year-old self-esteem had plummeted. I was afraid to raise my hand or ask a question in class, but on the playground, I became combatant. I couldn’t explain why, but I was angry, mostly at myself. I couldn’t talk about what I couldn’t explain. So, I never told my parents about being bullied or how I felt.
I recalled the day I noticed how unhappy and dark my dairy writings and art had become. It was how I viewed my life. But I recalled that I always felt better after I’d released my anger and fears expressed within the pages of my drawings and written words in my dairy. Yes, I found peace by using what God had given me, and in later years, I learned how to channel my anger, and anxiety through art, writing and singing. I’m not saying I never became angry again. I did and I do. I’m simply learning how to release it in more productive ways.
Below is a poem that describes ANGER. I wrote this after thinking about my anger and remembering my freshman year in college and my bullying roommate, who picked on me. It is a depiction of mannerisms and irate conversation thrown at me while we were alone in our dorm room. I chose not to engage in her harassment and ignored her angry words and threats, which angered her more. But at the same time, my nonconfrontation over time, defused the situation. Over the last weeks of that semester, eventually I saw that by using my faith, the virtue of patience, and prayer, letting the Lord fight my battle, things changed. On the last day of the semester, after a morning of finals, my roommate apologized, I accepted, and we ended the semester as friends. I’d like to know your view on anger. Would you like to know why my roommate harbors anger against me? Ask, and I will tell you.
“Anger Is Here”
She comes.
Dressed in red
Eyes rolling. Finger wagging.
Shaking her head.
No words spoken.
Way too much said.
She Swears!
Pulls up a chair
Spewing guile
Without a care.
Wheeling harsh words,
Here, there and everywhere.
Can’t stop the fussing!
Too loud, can’t hear.
Too late to negotiate
No wit to revere.
Lord have mercy
Anger is here.
A native of Texas, Mary Diggs is a Christian, a wife, a mother, and holder of Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees in Vocal music with emphasis in art from Prairie View A&M University, and taught music, elementary art, and theatre arts in public school for years before retiring.
2 comments On Dealing with Anger
A great read! It’s sad but true, bullying is real. Your story is such an encouragement.
Beautiful poem!!!
Why did your roommate harbor anger?
Hi Stephanie,
Thanks for visiting my log and your comment. To answer your question, my roommate had gone into my personal mail that was placed in my desk drawer and read one of my mother’s letters. Though I hadn’t told her anything about my roommate’s behavior, my mother had given me a warning about her. After reading my mail, she became more aggressive. I know she read my letter because she told me when she apologized. Thanks again, Steph. Please come and visit again.
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